Hello, dear readers! It’s Ashley here, and it feels wonderful to connect with you again. I know it’s been a little while, and I’ve missed sharing updates and thoughts with you all. As we step into the vibrant energy of February, I’m filled with a renewed sense of purpose and excitement for what lies ahead.
February’s arrival is always a welcome change, especially after what often feels like the year’s longest month: January. For those of us enduring the depths of a Chicago winter, January can indeed be a test of endurance. This year proved no exception, bringing with it a generous dose of snow, biting cold, and persistent, atmospheric fog that seemed to blanket everything in a monochrome haze. However, just yesterday offered a delightful reprieve, greeting us with an unusually balmy 48 degrees and glorious sunshine. It was a beautiful reminder of the subtle shifts in nature, offering a glimmer of hope for warmer days to come. How has the weather been treating you in your corner of the world? I’d love to hear about it!
Chasing the Sunshine: Our Florida Escape
Speaking of sunshine, there comes a point every winter when the longing for warmth becomes almost irresistible. Around this time each year, I find myself yearning to trade the relentless cold and lingering snow for a destination that promises reliably warm temperatures and abundant sunshine. Last year, our escape led us to the stunning La Jolla area of San Diego, a place that truly felt like my happy sanctuary. The ocean breeze, the golden sand, and the vibrant California sun were exactly what we needed. This year, our compass is pointing southeast, towards the beautiful beaches and endless warmth of Florida. The anticipation is building, as our trip is scheduled for later this month, and I honestly couldn’t be more thrilled. Florida offers a unique blend of relaxation and adventure, from its pristine coastlines to its lush natural landscapes, promising a much-needed break from the winter chill and a chance to recharge under the glorious sun.
A Milestone Year for Miles
And do you know who else is brimming with excitement about our upcoming Florida adventure? My incredible son, Miles! Since it has been some time since my last update, I should definitely share that Miles has officially turned nine years old. Nine! It truly baffles me how quickly time flies. He’s growing into such a remarkable young man, full of curiosity and spirit. Miles, much like his mom, thrives on that essential dose of Vitamin D and the simple joy of feeling warm sand between his toes. The thought of him running freely on the beach, soaking up the sun, brings a huge smile to my face.
This past year has also been particularly significant for Miles regarding his health journey. He recently celebrated his eighth liver transplant anniversary, a monumental milestone that we cherish with immense gratitude. And next week, we’ll be marking his seventh kidney transplant anniversary! Each of these dates serves as a powerful reminder of the incredible generosity and selflessness of his life-saving organ donors, Abby and Liz. Their gifts have allowed Miles to live a full and vibrant life, and our hearts are eternally grateful for their profound impact. Their heroism is a constant source of inspiration for our family, underscoring the preciousness of every single day.
While Miles largely leads a wonderfully normal life, filled with school, sports, and friendships, there are occasional, gentle reminders that he lives with a suppressed immune system due to the anti-rejection medications he takes daily. In December, we faced a challenging period when he fell quite ill for three weeks, which necessitated a six-day hospitalization. These hospitalizations, thankfully, are becoming increasingly rare, a fact for which I am incredibly thankful. It’s a testament to his resilience, the diligent care he receives, and the ongoing medical advancements that allow him to navigate his unique health landscape with such strength and grace. We learn to appreciate the calm periods even more, cherishing his health and well-being with profound gratitude.
Navigating Widowhood and the World of Dating
Last week marked a somber anniversary for our family: six years since we said goodbye to Ryan after his courageous battle with colon cancer. Six years. Some days, the pain feels as raw and immediate as if it happened yesterday, the memories vivid and heart-wrenching. On other days, it feels like an eternity has passed since I last heard his voice or felt his comforting presence. The passage of time with grief is a peculiar journey, marked by waves of sorrow and moments of reflection. Many of you have graciously shared your own vulnerable stories of loss, of navigating the complexities of grief, and of caring for and loving someone through the challenges of cancer. Your messages and shared experiences mean more to me than words can express. Knowing that I am not alone in this journey, that there’s a community of understanding hearts, provides immense comfort and strength.
In these past six years, I’ve learned an incredible amount about life’s fragility, the enduring power of grief, and the importance of finding a path forward, even when it feels daunting. Some days are undeniably harder than others, especially when I see the longing in Miles’ eyes. As a nine-year-old, there’s nothing he wishes for more than to have his dad physically present in his life. We make a conscious effort to talk about his Dad daily, sharing stories, looking at pictures, and doing our very best to honor his memory and keep his spirit alive within our family. It’s a vital part of our healing and our continued connection to him.
Last year, after much contemplation and inner work, I made the decision that I was finally ready to put myself out there and cautiously re-enter the world of dating. It’s a significant step, and one I approached with a mix of apprehension and hope. May I remind you that Ryan and I began dating in high school, and I was married by the time I was twenty? My entire adult life has been within the context of that loving relationship. The concept of “dating” in its modern form is entirely new territory for me. Furthermore, I work from home, which, while offering flexibility, significantly narrows the chances of meeting someone organically through daily interactions. With these realities firmly in mind, and after a good deal of internal debate, I reluctantly joined the online dating apps.
Dating for the very first time in your life at the age of 40 is, to say the least, an incredibly interesting and often bewildering experience! It’s been a profound journey of self-discovery. I’ve learned so much about myself – my strengths, my boundaries, and what I truly value in a partner and a relationship. I’m slowly but surely navigating the intricate ins and outs of online dating, from crafting a compelling profile to understanding the nuances of digital communication. For the most part, it’s been a positive and often enlightening experience, introducing me to new perspectives and interesting people. However, I won’t sugarcoat it; it’s also undeniably exhausting and can, at times, feel a little tedious, requiring a significant investment of time and emotional energy. But through it all, there have certainly been a couple of genuinely fun, even laugh-out-loud, stories that have turned into cherished anecdotes. It truly is an adventure, one that continues to unfold with unexpected twists and turns!
I could honestly talk for hours about my experiences with dating – there’s so much to unpack! But we’d be here all day if I delved into every detail. So, instead, I’d love to turn to you, my wise and experienced readers: if you have any dating tips, wisdom, or humorous anecdotes to share, please send them my way! I’m genuinely open to all advice. By the way, this is my current dating profile picture. Can I just express how incredibly vulnerable and, at times, profoundly uncomfortable it feels to post pictures and detailed information about myself on an app, all with the explicit goal of trying to meet someone to share life with? Especially after having experienced a wonderfully happy, loving, and fulfilling marriage for fifteen years. It’s a complete paradigm shift, and honestly, I don’t think I’ll ever fully get used to the whole concept. But, I believe in taking chances and remaining open to possibility, even when it feels unfamiliar.
February Festivities: Valentine’s Day and the Super Bowl!
Looking ahead into the remainder of February, we have two exciting and very different events on the horizon: Valentine’s Day and the Super Bowl! It’s a month that balances romance with intense sporting action, and I love the energy both bring. While my heart is absolutely, unequivocally rooting for the Kansas City Chiefs in the Super Bowl (I am a massive Travis Kelce fan, and yes, I adore Jason Kelce too!), I must admit, I’d also be perfectly content with a 49ers win. Their quarterback, Brock Purdy, is a fellow Iowa State Alumni – Go Cyclones! It’s been incredibly fun and inspiring to watch his journey and see his remarkable success unfold on the national stage. There’s a special pride in seeing someone from your alma mater achieve such greatness. The Super Bowl always brings such a buzz, whether you’re a die-hard fan or just in it for the commercials and the snacks.
These two events often spark culinary creativity in my kitchen. Valentine’s Day usually calls for something sweet, perhaps a decadent dessert, or a cozy, intimate meal. The Super Bowl, on the other hand, is all about crowd-pleasing appetizers, dips, and hearty finger foods perfect for sharing with friends and family during an exciting game. What kinds of recipes do you typically enjoy preparing for Valentine’s Day celebrations or for your Super Bowl watch parties? I’m always on the lookout for new ideas to add to my repertoire!
My “Friday Five” for February 2, 2024
Here are five things I’ve been loving, thinking about, or discovering this week that I wanted to share with all of you:
1. I recently finished re-listening to the phenomenal book, “Atomic Habits” by James Clear. Self-improvement books are genuinely my favorite genre, offering invaluable insights and practical strategies for personal growth, and this one stands out as a true gem. It masterfully breaks down the science of habit formation, emphasizing how small, consistent changes in our daily routines can accumulate into truly significant results over time. I first listened to it several years ago, and I felt it was time for a refresh, a deeper dive into its core principles to re-evaluate and refine my own habits. While I can’t remember the last time I sat down to read a physical book from cover to cover, I absolutely adore listening to audiobooks on Audible. The convenience of learning while doing chores, exercising, or driving is a game-changer. Do you have any other self-improvement book recommendations that have profoundly impacted your life? I’m always eager to expand my reading list!
2. My kitchen has been busy with a particular recipe lately: I’ve made this Creamy Chicken Noodle Soup no less than three times already this season! It has unequivocally become my absolute favorite soup recipe of the winter. It’s incredibly comforting, wonderfully flavorful, and just the perfect bowl of warmth on a chilly day. The creamy broth, tender chicken, and perfectly cooked noodles create a culinary experience that is truly SO good. I urge you to try it before soup season officially winds down. I promise, you won’t be disappointed! Please let me know what you think if you give it a try. I love hearing your feedback on recipes.
3. Are you currently on TikTok? I’ve found it to be one of my guilty pleasures for unwinding at night. There’s something wonderfully escapist about scrolling through short, engaging videos that can make you laugh, teach you something new, or simply provide a moment of distraction. This week, I had a truly random and amusing encounter: when I walked into my hot yoga class, I noticed a guy who looked strikingly familiar, precisely like a cooking creator I follow on TikTok who boasts an incredible three million followers! And then, a moment later, it clicked – it actually *was* him! What are the odds? It was such a delightfully unexpected moment. You can find him on TikTok @cookingwithdarryl. Do you have any favorite TikTok accounts that you avidly follow? I’m always looking for new content to explore and enjoy!
4. We absolutely need to take a moment to discuss the delightful phenomenon that is Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce. I must confess, never in my entire life have I been so personally invested in a celebrity couple before. Ever. Typically, celebrities and their personal lives simply do not capture my interest. I generally couldn’t care less about which celebrity is dating whom. However, let me tell you, I am wholeheartedly, completely, and utterly invested in *this* relationship. It is just so undeniably cute and appears genuinely wholesome, radiating pure joy. Seeing all the clips of them together, seemingly so smitten and genuinely in love, just makes me smile so incredibly big. Perhaps I am, after all, a hopeless romantic at heart, especially when witnessing such an authentic and joyful connection! Anyone else feeling this way about them?
5. My newest favorite kitchen tool, an absolute game-changer, is this expandable over-the-sink strainer/colander. This discovery came after a rather painful incident a couple of weeks ago. I was attempting to drain boiling water from a saucepan by simply holding the lid on top – you know the precarious balancing act, right? Unfortunately, I was sick with a head cold, felt a sudden wave of dizziness, and ended up accidentally dumping the entire pot of boiling water directly onto my hand. It was, without a doubt, the worst burn I’ve ever experienced, both in terms of its size and the excruciating pain it caused. It looked absolutely terrible for days! After that harrowing experience, I immediately decided it was high time I invested in a truly reliable and safe colander. I cannot recommend this expandable one highly enough; it fits perfectly over the sink, allowing for hands-free and completely safe straining. It’s a simple tool that has brought a significant improvement to my kitchen safety and efficiency.
Weekly Inspiration: The Thief of Joy
As we conclude this update, I want to leave you with a little bit of inspiration and a profoundly good reminder, one that comes from the wisdom of Theodore Roosevelt. It’s a conversation I just had with Miles yesterday, a moment that truly resonated with me. I noticed he was comparing himself to his friends in a way that was clearly leaving him feeling down, questioning his own value and abilities.
“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
Theodore Roosevelt
It’s an undeniable truth, isn’t it? It is so incredibly easy to get caught up in the habit of comparing ourselves to others, whether it’s their achievements, their appearances, their possessions, or their perceived happiness. I catch myself doing it too; I think it’s a universal human tendency. While I believe that comparisons can sometimes serve a useful purpose – perhaps inspiring us to strive for improvement or to recognize our own unique strengths – I also think that far too often, they can leave us feeling less-than, inadequate, and ultimately, more negatively about ourselves. The key lies in mindfulness. We must be keenly aware of who and what we are comparing ourselves to, and more importantly, how we feel about ourselves when we are making that comparison. If it diminishes your self-worth or breeds discontent, it’s a sign to step back, re-center, and focus on your own unique path and progress. Cultivating self-acceptance and celebrating our individual journeys are powerful antidotes to the comparison trap. Remember, your journey is uniquely yours, and that in itself is something truly special.
I hope you all have a truly wonderful and fulfilling weekend! On our agenda, we’ve got a couple of exciting basketball games to attend, a fun birthday party to celebrate, and, if the weather continues to cooperate, perhaps a walk or two outside to fully savor the unseasonably warm February sunshine and those delightful 40-degree temperatures. It’s these simple moments of joy and connection that truly make life special. Take care, and embrace the beautiful moments that come your way!
xoxo,
Ashley